cold and waiting

I am sitting outside at San Francisco State University waiting for my 1:30 doctors appointment. Waiting to have confirmed what I already know. Waiting is only made worse by the chill outside. I want to scream and cry. Pull at my flesh and hug the pain away from the hole that is emptying within me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have loved ones around me. People that I know are here for me at times like this. Thank you, I love you.