Stop licking the turtles (warning: read no further if you are easily offended or are made to feel oogie when reading about vomit or bile, 'nough said)

That was the advice a good friend gave me today. I am suffering day five of what appears to be food poisoning. Most cases of food poisoning tend to clear up within 48 hours. Projectile vomiting ceased on day three but the bowel cascades have endured well beyond the two day expectations and last night I actually dreamt of having a solid b.m. Oh, if it were only the truth.

I suspect it is salmonella poisoning due to the symptoms and the duration. My roomie, Dr. Victoria, diagnosed it as such and gave me the aforementioned advice. Apparently my favorite past-time of licking amphibians and reptiles is a health risk. Thus, it has to end. Seriously, though, she spent a year in Africa and worked with, and treated, children suffering from salmonella poisoning. I trust her opinion. She even sang me a song in French, to the tune of "Frère Jacques". Only this song is about diarrhea, and mixing together a treatment of water, sugar, and salt. The only word I recognized was sugar. Go figure. I love her bedside manner... if only I could get her to wear the nurse uniform. But I digress.

Really not much else to say. Other than I am sick of saltine crackers and sprite. Jeannine was a great friend and ran errands for me twice this week. First to get me saltines and sprite (and baby wipes, thank gawd), and then again for gatorade and other sustenance beyond soda crackers.

I won't say where I think I got salmonella. I like this place too much. But just beware, and be careful. Realize that you really can get sick anywhere, and from any type of food. I don't even eat chicken... but a salad might be prepared next to raw chicken. Enough, I'm tired.

I had a dream this morning

I woke very early this morning to a phone call from Jeannine, "Deanne is in labor." After I hung up the phone I looked at the time. It was 4:00 am. I fell back asleep and woke up again around 8:00. I felt really sick. My throat felt swollen shut, so I used a flashlight and looked into my mouth with the bathroom mirror. My tonsils are big and covered in white. So I went back to bed, and fell asleep.

I had a very strange dream. I can't remember most of it but I do remember holding open a door for a large group of women. But they didn't go through the door, they couldn't decide if they really wanted to go in. So I grew impatient and let the door close on them. They were offended so I left.

I then found myself in a small room with my sister and a rat cage. The cage was full of baby rats, their eyes still closed and no fur. Pinkies. But something was terribly wrong. The pinkies were stuck in the bars of the cage and most were dead. So I was trying to free them from their hanged perils. Some tore apart as I pulled on their cold bodies and I felt terribly sick. Luckily there was a toilet in front of me. I threw up. My sister laughed.

The phone rang again. This time it was the landlady. I was afraid I might really have to throw up, but I was fine. It was 10:00 so I got up to feed the cats and then went back to bed. I'm not sure if the phone call from Jeannine was real or just a dream.